Mini Season 8 Div. 4 Team Review — “Mom, you make the food, and I win the Dota.”

5 min readSep 20, 2019

Now our Division 4 Mini season ended a bit late. We had to postpone grand finals a week later since Halfcvst started school and work and could no longer make Tuesday games, and I was unavailable on the 10th because of my girlfriend’s birthday. Nevertheless, we ended up playing with some random stand-in that I think was from Kalivunkka’s main RD2L team, and that’s when disaster struck. Give up dude’s internet shat the bed and wouldn’t self-correct, so we ended up forfeiting the series. Kind of an anticlimactic way to end the season, especially since the other team was very accommodating to us. Whatever.


Give Up Dude, Team Captain — Some people think I can be kind of an asshole, but I like to think that I’m just an honest person through and through, and that I like to speak my mind. Give Up Dude was very PMA throughout the season, and for that I’m very appreciative, but as a player, he was kind of… Underwhelming. I learned this very quickly in week 1 in our second game versus LeoJ’s team, when he claimed that he would carry us hard with his Anti-mage, claiming to be NA’s greatest AM in the year of our lord 2019. Now granted, I don’t think the reason we lost that game was his fault — in fact, I think it was probably mine.
Game 1 was a very, very easy sweep. Anybody that’s even remotely familiar with me knows that I loathe Leoj. It’s not really a secret. So after Game 1, I think we were all kind of feeling ourselves. It was our first game together as a team, and everything was smooth sailing, so we got kind of cocky with picks and drafted me a Dazzle mid, which although I think I won the lane pretty hard, I definitely had a hard time taking tempo of the game.

Anyways, Give Up Dude is a nice guy. He likes to talk over people sometimes, but it’s never with bad intentions. My guy just wants to have fun and win some Dota. I just don’t think I want to be playing on a competitive team with him again.

Rating: 2.5/5

Emu, washed up Mid player, banished to the fourth division — This probably makes me sound like I’m cocky or whatever, but I’m think I can confidently say that I am not a division 4 player. I think the only times I lost midlane, according to Dotabuff, was when I was laning Ember Spirit into a Razor, and when I laned Queen of Pain into Zeus.

Popping off on Ember despite losing mid to a Razor feels pretty good.
I think I just played like dog shit in this one.

Anyways, I don’t really want to say too much about myself since that’s not really the point of this team review.

Rating: 0/5

Halfcvst, Pudge picker supreme — Halfcvst has a hero puddle and he’s doesn’t seem to care about it. He’ll ask for Pudge just about every game, and still do this dumb ass blink rush that tilts the fuck out of me even after I’ve brought up that it’s a shit first item. But it never really mattered, because he’ll always consistently play to his skill level or above. I always felt like I could count on him to do whatever his job was for the game, whether that was to just front line, initiate, or whatever else his position 3 would do that particular game.

11min blink dagger against Zeus monkaS

Halfcvst was pretty PMA during the entire season, not really complaining or flaming too much during draft or games, but sometimes he’d message me privately and air some grievances out. We felt like brothers-in-arms, I definitely think he belonged in at least Div3.

Rating: 4.5/5

PandaPGOD, flamer of mums, player of dota — This kid is fucking hilarious. Confidence like I definitely never had at 16 and flames like crazy in a friendly way. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dude 8 years my junior call me kid, but it made me laugh every time he did it. The one instance that stuck out to me the most is the title of this team review. Panda was on open mic, and we just hear him yelling across his house to his mom. “LISTEN, YOU MAKE THE FOOD, AND I WIN THE DOTA, OKAY?” We all erupted in laughter. Team morale is through the roof if you have this guy on your team. You can see why Give Up Dude drafted him again in the main league.

Like Halfcvst, and I guess my entire team really, he has a tiny hero puddle, but when he gets any of those heroes you can easily expect him to pop off. Clutch as fuck saves with Phoenix, solid lockdown from Earthshaker, good position with his Shadow Shaman. I’ve got zero complaints about PandaPGOD. He plays well above his MMR and draft priority.

Rating: 4.5/5

Kalivunkka, one trick pony extraordinaire — Really not much to say here. This guy is a platinum position 4 Kunkka spammer, and I think we only got that hero once in the series? He played position 4/5, alternating with Panda depending on our draft. His hero pool outside of Kunkka is definitely weaker, but still solid, and I don’t ever really recall him playing below his level. Pretty neutral on this one, sorry I don’t have more to say!

Rating: 3/5


I think we definitely could have won the entire division had Give Up Dude’s internet not crapped out that night. Definitely not the worst team I’ve ever played with in RD2L, at least all the players still actively played Dota outside of the league. I can’t say that I ever got excited or looked forward to the games, though.

Overall Team Rating: 3/5